I’ve kind of lost my way with this blog. It has been about cooking and recipes, marketing, working in B2B tech, playing golf and my family. I haven’t blogged for a long time as I had a feeling this was becoming a rather shouty, rant about everything negative.
I read through some of the more ‘focussed’ posts recently and really enjoyed some of the memories that they brought back. So, now’s the time for me to think through what I want to use this blog for.
Whether you’re working for a new company and have that nerve racking first day ahead of you, or you’re part of an established team awaiting the arrival of new colleagues – the road ahead can be a minefield. New personalities. Skills. Moods. Contribution. Fit.
How do you work out the dynamic between you? How do you establish working relationships that count?
Teams of people work eight or so hours a day, relationships build quickly and common ground is established. You might even start to build trust between you and those colleagues, giving you a deeper understanding and empathy within the team. But, trust must be earned, as must respect. They are not given lightly, nor are they something to play with.
But, how do you know if trust is mutual? How do you know if someone is genuine? At what point do you ‘relax’, get back to ‘normal’ and do the job at hand, without distraction? Do you simply ‘trust’ your instincts and feelings?
There are people in life who are simply not genuine. People who are centred on themselves. Who think of themselves, before others and about securing their position in business. These are the people who tell you to (face to face) ‘I’ve got your back’. The same people who think nothing of calling with their woes and worries; a review, an issue with the spouse or kids or even a team member. So, what do you do, and how do you handle it when your trust is betrayed? Confront them? Ignore them? Get on with your job regardless? But, what happens when their actions have a serious impact on you, both personally and professionally? Where do you turn when the person you thought you trusted has betrayed that trust?
Karma really is a beautiful thing. The only thing you have to do is wait.
We live in a world that’s changing. Networks are expanding. Lives don’t move on and it’s difficult for people to make a clean break or a fresh start in any area. I’m not saying it’s wrong (or right) but, I do think it gives pause for thought.
Facebook allows us to reconnect with old friends, or those we’ve lost touch with over the years. It gives us licence to chat, post updates about our lives and tell others what’s going on. It allows people to keep up the happenings of far away friends, but at what point does it become a little bit ‘intrusive’? Or voyeuristic? Do you really want your entire friends list knowing what you had for breakfast? Or that you’re a bit drunk and threw up on the train?
And LinkedIn? The ‘professional’ network…? I have noticed recently that my profile gets a lot of attention from ex-colleagues – people that haven’t actually spoken to me in recent months. What do they want? Is it to know what I’m doing and where? Or another reason?
I’ve had a Twitter account for many years, but recently, my use of Twitter has changed. Is what I say interesting enough to warrant a post? Are my followers really interested in my life? What do I enjoy from the people that follow me? And why?
Are we creating tools and environments that allow people to satisfy curiosity or are we giving people windows into our lives that they normally would not have? Is it stalking? If it’s not stalking, at what point does it become stalking?
To those of you who check in regularly to see what news, you’ll know there’s not been much blogging going on. Not just recently, but, it seems, over the past year or so. I’m in two minds whether to continue or whether to delete this. Over recent months the blog has simply become a place to rant, a place to let off steam and to talk about stuff that really shouldn’t matter.
It has lost it’s way. I shall look for it. If I don’t succeed then I promise to make it disappear.
…wanting to blog and tell all, but realising that it might not be the best timing, or the best idea right now.
Years ago I sent my Mum a card which simply said ‘Must have courage, faith and chocolate fudge cake’. That’s my ‘mood message’ at the moment, though I’d rather have vodka than cake.
I can’t really sum up what’s going on either. It’s all a big temptation and an even bigger risk.
Work is going from bad to worse at the moment. With questions over brand, CMS, ‘best-of-breed’ agencies and upheaval, it’s no surprise that morale has reached an all time low. We’ve had two resignations in the past week. Correction – I have had two resignations in the past week. Two of my longest serving (longest suffering) team members are stepping down from the role and from the company.
It’s clear they’ve both had enough of the constant change and upheaval and that both are looking for new challenges. It’s clear that everything is different already. But, what of the company? What will be done to rebuild? Anything? Everything? Nothing?
I shall miss my team – as it once was. These changes are as a result of decisions made back to February. Changes were set in motion at that point, and here we are. This week’s news is a direct result. My question (rhetorical): why am I still here? what is there for me? where does this mis-guided sense of loyalty come from? what’s next? will I ever find the elusive ‘work/life balance’? and, losing my team members…what’s next?
Answers on a postcard, please.
I use the term the boss to represent the person we report to at work. I’m now on my fifth boss at my current company – the second this year. I like the rest of my team wonder when this person will show us the way forward. When this person will lead. Today, I find myself doubting that that will happen.
We go to work every day. We offer a certain amount of time to our companies in return for a wage. We build relationships with the people we work with. We talk, we discuss, we argue, we debate and we do what’s necessary to get our jobs done. And then, at 5:30 we go home. But it doesn’t actually end there. Often, we work late because we don’t want to let anyone down. Because we want to do a good job. Because there’s a tight deadline and it’s an important task. We don’t get paid to do it. We do it through our good will. On the promise that our company will take care of us, treat us well and show respect.
In recent weeks, my company has used up the good will of most of my department. It has used up the good will. It has ground people’s humour down. And it’s squashed the life out of some people. Why do companies (or the people running them) think this is good or acceptable?
Today, I took several (blows) pieces of ‘bad’ news about my ‘role’ and what I do for the company. Here we go again. The question is, can I find any tiny bits of good will to see me through? Or…what is the or?
It’s no secret that work is a bit of a challenge at the moment. It doesn’t help that the boss has told several people who work for me that he’s ‘piling on the pressure to see who jumps first’. I had a major meltdown again last week. Haven’t had a melt down so far this week, but it is only Monday. I’ve come to the conclusion today that even if I resign tomorrow, I’ll not be the first. We’ve lost someone already. One. Of. The. Good. Guys.
It’s the risk you take with that particular ‘management style’ (the pressure style, the weed out the weak style). The risk is that you lose the good guys and get stuck with the ones you’d really hoped had gone. The question is…what am I? One of the good ones or one of the ones he wants to keep?
Am I paranoid? Can I really get 2 + 2 = 4? Or am I just imagining the worst? And seeing the very worst there is?
I’ll move away now and take my conspiracy theories to bed with me. Night night.
Today I left work barely holding it together. It wasn’t just one thing that got to me, but a number of things. The last thing – the final straw? A skype message from an employee. ‘if they think that xxxxx can replace you, I mean do your job, take over from you, they are wrong.’
Come on, seriously. How would you feel? When xxxxx sits next to you and was a recent addition by the new boss? I have to question what’s been said to make this employee feel so upset by the idea? Said employee is not known for ‘inventions’ of this nature.
Follow that with a call from the dragon lady and my evening has been ruined. I had red wine for dinner.
I feel guilty too. There are people in Japan with nothing…
More wine please.
Thankfully, my wonderful boyfriend was here, waiting for me when I got home.
Last year in January I made the decision to have braces fitted. No, not train tracks, but the modern equivalent. In-Ovation C – brackets. I’m now over a year in and my teeth have moved considerably, but I’m still looking at another year of braces. The reason for the post is to give anyone thinking of doing braces as an adult an open and honest view.
When I first got the top braces on, I researched on the net about whether the braces would interfere with life in other ways than the expected ones. As an adult, you don’t realise just how bad it’s going to get. It’s not just having a mouth full of sharp metal wires, elastic bands and tongue spikes etc. There’s also the unbelievable discomfort of teeth that break from their connection to the jaw. Wobbly teeth. Teeth that click. And a constant ache. Not to mention the change in diet, or the foods you can’t eat (at all).
But, the worst bit for me, is the the way it interferes with kissing and anything remotely passionate. Braces just get in the way.
My dentist asked if I would talk to some of his other patients to encourage them to have the same treatment. I had to say no. Had I known how much this would interfere, I would have opted for the more drastic option. Dentures.