The Meeting

Multi-disciplinary meeting…

No, not a work thing, but something to discuss what is the best “care” for my Gran after she is discharged from hospital. Very emotive. Very matter of fact. Which response for which attendees??? Hmmmm.

For my family it’s emotive. Gran’s well-being. Gran’s happiness, health and future and what happens. For them, just another case. Gran to us is a much-loved character. Sometimes stubborn, but mostly just Gran – full of mischief (given the chance), naughty, and with a huge sense of fun. To them, another person they need to move on from the hosiptal.

I went, I had to “control” the meeting for Mum – as emtionally, it was just too much. From the beginning, what I was up against was “Gran” having to go into her own home and resisting things such as “she can come home with the right equipment in place”.

It was never about her “not coming home”. It was aboutĀ Gran’s wishes to be with the rest of the family. She’s never admitted it to Mum (until recently), but Gran wants to be close to the family, and extended family in Yorkshire. Her home in Perthsire is isolated. But, her health is now too bad for her to live with one of her sons, or on her own – so it’s residential care from here on in.

Social services said she should do it on her own. Live. On. Her. Own.

W T F?

The assessment that resulted in a “live on her own” decision was made without the full medical history, medical case notes, and without consultation with the family. The people “making decisions” did not know about Gran’s seizures, her angina, her wheat intolerance, or any of the other health issues, including the fact that she’s deaf.


That’s what this is. People who aren’t thorough in their jobs. People who lack an eye for detail. People who lack compassion.

“This is my Gran, and I am telling you that is not happening to her”. End of story. I put my foot down about a flat. The whole “meeting” agreed it’s wrong for Gran.

While we got theĀ result we wanted and that Gran wants, she’s still in hospital. She doesn’t understand why she’s still in there. Every bone in my body (and Mum’s) wants to go get her and bring her home…but then we lose with the SS (yes, that’s social services). I love my Gran. She’s very special to me, and right now, I’m learning what it really means to be cruel to be kind.

I know that this is short term, to get her a longer term home that will be better for her quality of life, health and happiness.

So, why do I feel like “s**t”?