Dear Old Gran

The saga continues.

So, Gran has now been in hospital for three weeks. Her health has improved and she’s getting up and around more than she was able to. But, when will she be allowed out?

Social services last week decided that Gran can live on her own. Yes, on her own. This is the wonderful old “Granster” that has 30-45 minute seizures leaving her incapacitated for a day or even days. Living on her own, what would that mean??? So, she has a seizure today, and it takes three of us to lift her into bed, change her, make her comfortable, and then watch over her until she falls asleep (rather than unconscious). Sometimes she doesn’t fall asleep for hours and hours, but doesn’t want to be left alone. We sit with her and hold her hands. Who would do that if she were on her own?

I wrote about quality of life before and how Gran, Mum and Dad have none – none whatsoever. All of the extended family live in Yorkshire – so to get Gran the quality of life, involvement and stimulation she needs, she should be with the family there. But, apparently the only way we can do it, is to put her into her own home – a sheltered home. I’m sorry, but these people in social services have no idea!!

The long and short of it is Mum and Dad are selling up and moving to Yorkshire. Not for them, but for Gran. They are planning to buy a bungalow, and have a wet room installed so that Gran has an easier time getting bathed/washed etc. And, I think they will look at trying to get a hoist of some kind so that they can manage easier after the falls, the seizures and when Gran collapses.

So in three weeks at hospital, the nurses have decided they know what it’s like looking after Gran, and they’ve decided they know what’s best. Social services also seem to know this 88 year old woman well and what’s in her best interests. I think not.

Oh and the cherry on the cake…Mum as carer gets six weeks respite care per year. She was told at the weekend, that because Gran was admitted to and is still in hospital, those weeks count down from the respite number!!! How does that work? Mum has had no respite during that time. The first week was spent worrying that Gran was so ill we had to get the whole family to visit. And for the subsequent weeks, it’s been about making sure Mum gets to the hospital to see Gran everyday, twice a day. What about the worry that the nurses put on Mum at every visit? What about the fact that social services have made Mum’s life hell during the past week? Why is that respite? What a joke.

And poor Dad…what can he do?

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One thought on “Dear Old Gran

  1. Hi there! I totally sympathise although I think your lot are getting a much harder time than me. I on the other hand had a meeting with the hospital lot on Friday who have ALL advised that she go into 24 hour care (based on the same three week assessment). Luckily granny has a care manager who knows her reasonably well and has told them that she will make sure there is more care at home so she can go back. She believes she should get the chance and I personally feel she will manage. Your mum and dad should have kept the caravan and moved back down here :-). Isnt it surprising the difference in options and just an hour apart!?!?! Thinking of you all.

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