The Glen

Well, it’s not the only Glen, but since I was a teenager, it’s been known as “The Glen”. Kids from the area live “up the Glen”, catch “the Glen bus” and come fae “up the Glen”… Only recently, it’s dawned on me how much I will miss the Glen and how many fond memories I have of the area and of the parental home.

The house is sold, my parents are moving. It’s very sad. But, with Sis on her way back to NZ – indefinitely – and me living in the South, there’s no need for my parents to live in and rattle around such a big house (& manage such a large property and garden) as they get older.

I can’t help feeling that it’s not right. The house should stay within our family. We are linked to the Glen…but will we return?

During this traumatic week, I took Mum to the golf club in Pitlochry. We’ve lived in the area for 26 years, yet it’s the first time she’s ever seen the golf club from the inside. All of this on her doorstep, yet never had the time to enjoy it?

Is that what happens? You move somewhere because you love it, but you’re too busy keeping a roof over your head, caring for others and maintaining the home and grounds that you don’t appreciate your surroundings?

I don’t want to cut the ties with my Glen. I want to be able to visit “Grandad Rock”, to tell tales of swimming in the river, fishing in the Brerachan and tickling trout in the burn… I want to be able to walk to the waterfall and drink whisky with water straight from the falls… I want to retell stories of climbing the wrong Munro…and to be able to see Souter’s stone…

It’s not over. It can’t be, I don’t hear a fat lady.

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The Meeting

Multi-disciplinary meeting…

No, not a work thing, but something to discuss what is the best “care” for my Gran after she is discharged from hospital. Very emotive. Very matter of fact. Which response for which attendees??? Hmmmm.

For my family it’s emotive. Gran’s well-being. Gran’s happiness, health and future and what happens. For them, just another case. Gran to us is a much-loved character. Sometimes stubborn, but mostly just Gran – full of mischief (given the chance), naughty, and with a huge sense of fun. To them, another person they need to move on from the hosiptal.

I went, I had to “control” the meeting for Mum – as emtionally, it was just too much. From the beginning, what I was up against was “Gran” having to go into her own home and resisting things such as “she can come home with the right equipment in place”.

It was never about her “not coming home”. It was about Gran’s wishes to be with the rest of the family. She’s never admitted it to Mum (until recently), but Gran wants to be close to the family, and extended family in Yorkshire. Her home in Perthsire is isolated. But, her health is now too bad for her to live with one of her sons, or on her own – so it’s residential care from here on in.

Social services said she should do it on her own. Live. On. Her. Own.

W T F?

The assessment that resulted in a “live on her own” decision was made without the full medical history, medical case notes, and without consultation with the family. The people “making decisions” did not know about Gran’s seizures, her angina, her wheat intolerance, or any of the other health issues, including the fact that she’s deaf.

STUPID.

That’s what this is. People who aren’t thorough in their jobs. People who lack an eye for detail. People who lack compassion.

“This is my Gran, and I am telling you that is not happening to her”. End of story. I put my foot down about a flat. The whole “meeting” agreed it’s wrong for Gran.

While we got the result we wanted and that Gran wants, she’s still in hospital. She doesn’t understand why she’s still in there. Every bone in my body (and Mum’s) wants to go get her and bring her home…but then we lose with the SS (yes, that’s social services). I love my Gran. She’s very special to me, and right now, I’m learning what it really means to be cruel to be kind.

I know that this is short term, to get her a longer term home that will be better for her quality of life, health and happiness.

So, why do I feel like “s**t”?

Queen & Paul Rodgers Concert

Upcoming on the 13th October – I can’t wait.

From the posts on http://brianmay.com/ it looks like the tour is off to a good start…the photos are amazing. As I’ve read some of the posts, I’ve become more annoyed about people saying it’s not the same without Freddie.

OF COURSE IT’S NOT! Grow up people. Paul Rodgers is not Freddie, nor is he trying to be. This is Queen with Paul Rodgers. Give it a chance, listen, enjoy. Paul’s voice is amazing…you never know, you might like the new music/songs…just stop the whinge!

Dear Old Gran

The saga continues.

So, Gran has now been in hospital for three weeks. Her health has improved and she’s getting up and around more than she was able to. But, when will she be allowed out?

Social services last week decided that Gran can live on her own. Yes, on her own. This is the wonderful old “Granster” that has 30-45 minute seizures leaving her incapacitated for a day or even days. Living on her own, what would that mean??? So, she has a seizure today, and it takes three of us to lift her into bed, change her, make her comfortable, and then watch over her until she falls asleep (rather than unconscious). Sometimes she doesn’t fall asleep for hours and hours, but doesn’t want to be left alone. We sit with her and hold her hands. Who would do that if she were on her own?

I wrote about quality of life before and how Gran, Mum and Dad have none – none whatsoever. All of the extended family live in Yorkshire – so to get Gran the quality of life, involvement and stimulation she needs, she should be with the family there. But, apparently the only way we can do it, is to put her into her own home – a sheltered home. I’m sorry, but these people in social services have no idea!!

The long and short of it is Mum and Dad are selling up and moving to Yorkshire. Not for them, but for Gran. They are planning to buy a bungalow, and have a wet room installed so that Gran has an easier time getting bathed/washed etc. And, I think they will look at trying to get a hoist of some kind so that they can manage easier after the falls, the seizures and when Gran collapses.

So in three weeks at hospital, the nurses have decided they know what it’s like looking after Gran, and they’ve decided they know what’s best. Social services also seem to know this 88 year old woman well and what’s in her best interests. I think not.

Oh and the cherry on the cake…Mum as carer gets six weeks respite care per year. She was told at the weekend, that because Gran was admitted to and is still in hospital, those weeks count down from the respite number!!! How does that work? Mum has had no respite during that time. The first week was spent worrying that Gran was so ill we had to get the whole family to visit. And for the subsequent weeks, it’s been about making sure Mum gets to the hospital to see Gran everyday, twice a day. What about the worry that the nurses put on Mum at every visit? What about the fact that social services have made Mum’s life hell during the past week? Why is that respite? What a joke.

And poor Dad…what can he do?

Addiction

I’m addicted. To playing golf. The most frustrating, fun, annoying, and enjoyable game I’ve ever played. I played two rounds of 18 over the weekend, and was really pleased with a 109 at Pine Ridge and with a 112 at Blue Mountain.

Pine Ridge is my local course and is really lovely – lots of trees on the back nine, some on the front nine. The front nine is more open, and is longer – more for the big hitters… The back nine is hilly in comparison. Hit a wayward shot on the back nine and you’re likely to lose the ball. Favourite holes? The 9th – a long par 5 – very open, but great to just hit. The 12th because it’s an interesting par 3…

If the light is still good, book an early tee time (i.e. 6:30am) to play the back nine before work, and then work from home. The course will be very wet, but it’s spectacular to play with no other people around, just the local wildlife. If you can get out of work early, and the light is good, play the front nine at around 4:30pm. It’s a little busier at that time, but still worth it.

Blue Mountain is close to where I work. It’s run by Crown golf, same as Pine Ridge. I’ve played here twice and have enjoyed both times. The greens are huge…and they were in very good condition – like velvet. Quite a bit of water on this one, ditches act like magnets to your ball… Watch out for the 10th – you have to wait for the bell to ring, before you drive off. The 11th is a par 3 over water, as is the 16th… The 13th is an interesting hole – I managed the green in two last time!

If you play Blue Mountain, be sure to check you’re not stuck with a tee time behind a society. The first time we played, there were 4 x 4 balls from a society…It took over five hours to get around. A little slow, but still enjoyable – just waiting for them to rescue their wayward tee shots became a little frustrating…

My scores are definitely coming down. I’m now contemplating joining the local ladies club together with AJ – to get an official handicap, and so that AJ and I have a bigger network of ladies to play.

I did go to the gym last night too. In my first 20 minutes I worked hard enough to burn 350 calories. Phew. I carried on working out for 30 mins after and came home shaking…

Golfage

I’ve played a number of times recently, and I think I’m finally getting used to the new clubs. My short game is improving well – which I’m really pleased about, as I was worried about the weight of the new PW.

Last night I finished a round at our local 9-hole course with a cracking shot off the tee with my 3-wood, followed by another cracking shot with my new utility to within 5 meters of the green. I then chipped onto the green for what looked like an easy putt into the hole. Ahem. Wrong. I missed the putt. What should have been a par on the last was a bogey, but I’ll take that. 😉

This weekend we’re heading out to another new course. Hopefully, I’ll not find it as tough as Pitlochry!

I haven’t been that gym much recently, but I did play golf Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Does that count? I’m just dreading the next few weeks, as there won’t be an opportunity to play during the week anymore. Already the light is fading by the time you get to the 9th tee…so, back to the gym then?

Boo hoo!

Look Out New Zealand

My sister’s coming back.

Flights are booked, plans have been made and on the 28th of this month, sis and her BF are flying back to NZ to start afresh.

Best of luck to them both! I shall miss her being readily available – but, will look forward to hearing of her new adventures in life, of her BF’s exploits rafting, and hopefully, visiting next year.