It’s a big thing, isn’t it?
My mother is carer to my grandmother and has been since Gran’s health deteriorated a couple of years ago. Gran, on her good days, has a sharp wit, is unbelievably funny and has a wicked sense of humour that makes us grandkids turn our heads. On her bad days, it’s awful. She doesn’t remember who we are, where she is or even what day it is. Her health is failing and it’s hard to see. We’ve always believed that Gran is better off living with the family than in a home, but this weekend, that’s been called into question and it’s shaken us all to the very core.
What quality of life does Gran have? What quality of life does Mum have? And, what about Dad?
At what point do you have to face the question of what’s best for all of you? And, how do you make that decision? My sister and I know that if Gran has to have 24/7 care that Mum will feel guilty she’s not the one doing it, yet, Mum will kill herself trying to do everything.
This weekend gone, Gran had another bad seizure and because she forgets things then tried to get up and carry on like nothing had happened – resulting in a fall. She’s in hospital now. The nurses are seeing first hand how difficult life is for Gran and for Mum.
None of us know what will happen just now. We’re waiting for test results and Doctor’s reports – but whatever it is, has to be a “better quality of life” for all.